...

Nil title.

Its because I'm just too screwed up with life now.
I get stressed easily.
No matter wherever I am, I'll blow out easily even out of slightest matter on earth.
I scold my staffs at work when I do departure. I scold them when I do rover.
What's more when I am the backroom officer. Staffs get scolded by me for slightest favour.
To all concern, I'm sorry.
I've never been this way and this character never exist in my life before.

It somehow shatters my relationship with my family and boyfriend.
I get irritated easily when my brother poke me to crack jokes at home.
I find fault with the boyfriend often.
I'm just not being myself.
I don't scold or nag at people.
But what triggers my mood this way?

I love the people around me and never want to lose any of them.
I'm...........

;traumatised, I guess :(

Hello? Is it me You're looking for?

It's been such a long time i've not updated my bloggy. Thing's been great now. Work is getting managable and love live is SUPERB!


Work:
Its much more managable now,i guess. Of course,shit still happens to me on every WORKING DAY. But it's ok. Guess my face is kinda THICK now to face embarrassment at work. Oh well.. Go to hell to those people who don't favour my work. Everyone used to be new to things. So don't be too superior towards your SUPERB PERFORMANCE work. (AS IF!) Meeting friends at work brightens my day. (Oh..I miss Lizah now..) How I wish she's still around. She'll be arousing me every now and then to ask where am i and all.. Haiz..



Ok enough of work now..


Life:
People,just to let you know,I'm an AUNTIE now.. Haha. Yeah,my sister-in-law just gave birth to a little temperamental baby boy. Haha! You guys should come and see him and you'll know what I'm trying to say here. He's super CUTE and LOVELY! I really adore him very much. No matter how much he cries,he still maintain he's cuteness..hehe!







Till then...
Yours truly,
Ashraf'sSweetheart ;)

Discrete Disappointment

Work's getting bored and I seriously feel restless for work. Whats worse, one by one of us getting away from this 'hell' and HEY! Everyone's leaving then what about me? It started with one of my batchmate who left due to some attitude problem that she had. What a stupid thing to do, that is to give bad remarks infront of the big boss and being terminated on the spot. The remark may sound minor but not infront of that 'hot shot'! Just by saying "INFANT only what... No BIG DEAL.." is like letting your head on a chopping board to get yourself slaughtered! Oh my... One down.



Then came to know another girl left 24hrs notice and even was referred to a psychiatry. She's traumatised by her mentor and claimed that she's been 'mentally tortured' by her. Goodness! Tell me,are our mentors there to kill us or what? I had the same type of mentor too and only God knows my hardship during my OJT with him. I cried twice in the toilet while doing backroom. But everyone knows that i'm the only one who can endure people's naggs. I can handle stress and I have my own ways of handling it and disguising my embarrasment. Not only me,I heard from some others too who cried during flights and OJT.



It's seriously bad and we're really suffering mentally.

God please help :(

17 months!!!

!HAPPY 17TH MONTHSARY!

I love Muhd Ashraf SOOO much!

Muacks!

Such A Painful End

Boys will never grow up into a GENTLEMEN. Seriously,most guys here are so immature. Yes,IMMATURE. Why do they love to toggle and toy with their girilfriends' feelings? There's a common thing in a BOYFRIEND,that is to make a decision without even thinking twice.

Well,girl..I seriously feel for you,babe. I know exactly how you feel,lady. Having to know about the news,it kept me thinking for awhile. I clearly rememberred how hard I went through to overcome a breakup. I won't have a feeling of lost if I were to breakup because of an attitude but I'll definitely feel miserable to breakup because my boyfriend has a third party. A third party can mean anybody. You,me,a guy,a girl or even your own parents or siblings!

But its hurtful to end a relationship because your boyfriend is seeing another girl. Damn.. You'll feel like you've reached the end of the world. YES! Thats exactly how I felt last time,girl. I cried every single night over that bloody idiot and at last,I knew that it was stupid to cry over that unworth idiot. There's always a miracle behind every incidence. And I'm lucky I didn't continue my relationship with him as I got someone better than him. Hundred and million times better. Alhamdulillah. InsyaAllah Ashraf will be the one for me,Amin...

But girl,no matter what,we'll always face downs as long as we're living. Trust me,you'll get someone better than that idiot. Be strong,dear. Upgrade yourself to be a better person. Don't be too disheartened. No point crying over that unworth idiot. BE STRONG FATIN! I love you still babe... :)

Thoughts from her

I Want To Spend My Lifetime Loving You

Moon so bright, night so fine
Keep your heart here with mine
Life's a dream we are dreaming

Race the moon, catch the wind
Ride the night to the end
Seize the day, stand up for the light

I want to spend my lifetime loving you
If that is all in life I ever do

Heroes rise, heroes fall
Rise again, win it all
In your heart, can't you feel the glory?

Through our joy, through our pain
We can move worlds again
Take my hand, dance with me

I want to spend my lifetime loving you
If that is all in life I ever do
I will want nothing else to see me through
If I could spend my lifetime loving you

Though we know we will never come again
When there is love, life begins
Over and over again

Save the night, save the day
Save your love, come what may
Love is worth everything we pay

I want to spend my lifetime loving you
If that is all in life I ever do
I want to spend my lifetime loving you
If that is all in life I ever do
I will want nothing else to see me through
If I can spend my life time loving you

Shattered Glass

If you're asking me how I am today,I feel like I'm such a fragile soul in the world. Everything I do is never right in everyone's eyes. And that what hurts me alot nowadays.

Work has really stuck me up. Every single check-in that I did is never perfect. I wonder why if I were to ask my higher authority,they would either turn their heads around or ask me to solve myself (when I don't even know how to start). Why are these people showing that attitude?

If I were to make a wrong move,I won't suffer alone,you see. The WHOLE COMPANY will suffer! Do you know the communication game whereby there will be 10 people in a row and they'll start passing msg from the transmitter starting from the first person to the tenth. That kind of thing. If the first person were to receive the wrong msg,of course it won't reach to the last one. But with the help of a third party,it could make things easier.

So why each time I go to the higher authority people they will turn away? NONSENSE right? Unless you telling me you want to die together with me and the rest. Can't you people think what if I do the wrong thing and you don't bother to help though I've already acknowldge you about it? You'll get the sparks from the big fire too,you know.

Why is everything around me seems all wrong? Even my personal life can just shatter my heart sometimes. I feel too weak to face the world now. I just hate to have this kind of life. I will always go through difficult time EVERYDAY. I really don't like it.

I'm trying hard to stay strong. I don't know if its really worth it.

;like shattered glass